I was watching a TV show the other day and I was stunned to hear the way that the husbands and wives were talking about each other. It was handled in the traditional "let's hear the husband's side" and then the "let's hear the wife's side." The two of them were never put together during the interview. They were facing some very difficult situations in their marriage. From mistrust, disrespect, and a general disregard for each others feelings. While their story included difficulties of conception to infidelity, it was the reporters lack of "shock" that astounded me. He antiquated this particular relationship as "normal" and as a "typical" American love story. This is the part that I found most heart-wrenching. And I beg to differ...which turned into thinking...which turned into this in depth blog post! Their story, though it might seem typical to what "Hollywood" portrays, is not the typical relationship!
I began to think of my own husband. Throughout our short 17 months of marriage, my husband has proved himself to be far MORE than I ever expected from him. It's not that I ever thought my husband would fall short, rather it's that I never knew that his love for me grew that deeply within. As we faced the past 3 weeks of our "Adventure" together (See posts from Feb. 9 and March 9), he stood next to me every second of every day. He lost sleep to ensure that I could sleep. He helped me in and out of bed. Even as newlyweds he helped me to get dressed, wash, and generally keep up my hygiene...even brushing my teeth for me. To me, this went way above and beyond the call of duty...He become more than my lover, but my provider, caretaker, and the one person I learned to rely on every minute of every day. But the most impressive part, when I thanked him for all that he had done and was continuing to do, he said "I did nothing more than you would have done for me, my love." WOW! What a testimony to the true love of my darling husband!
But as I watched this program, the interviewer of this couple seemed to encourage them to "give up" and to "throw in the towel." Basically telling them that the vows they had taken so long ago didn't actually mean anything, nor did they amount to anything. How horrific! I felt my stomach lurch within me as I watched this. My first thought: "how dare he give such wrong and ungodly advice." There are some exceptions to the "throwing in the towel" (the biggest being abuse), however, there should be some effort made to reconcile in your relationship with your loved one...especially when you've taken vows before God, your family and friends, and vowed to support any future children that you have or that you have had together.
Our society has made it too easy to give up on marriage and on each other. Few states require trial separations, and in many you can skip straight to divorce. Society is teaching us that the grass is always greener on the other side! Oh how wrong they are! But we tend to believe that, don't we? Why? Because the grass always looks greener. For those who are struggling in their marriage, they think how much easier it must be to not be married: no one to be accountable to, no one to consider first, no one to be responsible for. But think about those who are single. Their opinion of the "other side" of the grass is far different: there's someone to take care of, someone to share their day-to-day activities with, someone to go to dinner with, and never a "dateless" Friday night.
As a minister, I have watched couples come from places of deepest hurt, loss, and devastation to places of renewed trust and faith. This doesn't happen over night and can often times only happen after months and years of avid counseling. But this happens because their love for each other, their belief in the true-ness of their love, and their constant want to love each other with all their being, outweighs all the hurt, pain, and devastation of the past...and it happens because of the example that Jesus Christ first gave us.
So today as this post takes on a much more serious tone than some of my other posts. I hope that in some way it has inspired you to love your spouse deeper...even through the hurt, trials, tribulations, and pains of marriage. Today, give your spouse an extra hug and a deeper kiss, reminding them of how much they truly mean to you.
No comments:
Post a Comment