Sunday Funnies

Here's a type of resume/career direction you may want to avoid...

• My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.
• Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
• After that, I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it - mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
• Next, I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.
• Then, I tried to be a chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.
• I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
• My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
• I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.
• Next, was a job in a shoe factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in.
• I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
• I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
• So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
• After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian - until I realized there was no future in it.
• My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
• So, I retired and I found I am perfect for the job!